Well, here I am at last finally getting round to writing a blog that would have been written a few days ago... on Monday I was going to attempt this blog & then again on Tuesday, but here we are in the early hours of Thursday & I have spared a few moments to sit down & blog!!!
After having a fairly stable day on Sunday & after a relaxed evening of karaoke at The Hart an unravelling week began...
Monday was a new day & I left my Bestie's lovely home at 7am to get the children ready for school, my will power slipped & I bought a packet of 10 menthol cigarettes while walking home. They only had Berkley Menthol's (Yuk) so that had to make do, but I am thankful for them as they saved me from deserting my children when the stress got too much. Epic Fail, I had been given up smoking for almost 2 months (bar 3 days) but alas due to Cameron's issues I turned to the nicotine & burst into tears.
After my failure of smoking a cigarette I locked myself in the bathroom & cried, while thankfully my gorgeous adopted daughter Alison finished getting the girls ready & got all three children safely to school for me. She is a wonderful person & will always be a daughter, sister, fabulous friend & part of my family for all the help that she gives to me, Duncan & the children.
Not beating myself up too hard about the smoking failure, I got on with the rest of the day... I had a package to post so queued up in the mammoth queue that was in the post office at 2.45, that continued to grow after I had joined - Now why is my nose so sensitive?! The two guys stood behind me smelt like a brewery & yes, literally I do mean like a brewery as they weren't stood THAT close to me but boy you couldn't mistake the strongest smell of alcohol! I don't get how anybody could've consumed that amount of booze in the daytime, but there are obviously some people that feel they cannot function without alcohol in their lives in the middle of the day. Very unpleasant & the queue seemed to move not that fast to my disappointment!
Tuesday was a fairly dippy emotioned day, one minuted I was up, the next I was down... it was all over the place. But I did manage to get to my weekly Slimming World group to see how much weight I had lost this week after loosing 4lb last week (getting slimmer of the week), this week I had lost another 5½lb!!! I can see my waist again - Yay =)
Now this blog seems to be a bit of a mish-mash of randomness, but hey you know me I like to be different!!! I have to say with everything going on around me at the moment there are some truly magically funny moments which I will cherish as it's those moments that have kept my spirits up & stopped me from slipping under, prime example of the day... at about 5.15pm Duncan puts a status on Facebook: Duncan Sharp I've had enough, all u do is take take take, and give me nothing in return, I push the right buttons, u still give nothing, I bang you hard and u still give me nothing. U are officially dumped!!
I immediately panic, thinking what on earth is going on now?! So send him a text saying 'What's wiv ur status? Worried...'
Meanwhile my phone is getting phone calls, texts & generally going crazy while we're sat here trying to eat dinner. The next call I see coming through is Duncan, so I answer that call & he is on the end of the phone almost crying with hysterical laughter as his phone also was on overload with texts/calls - it was only the stupid stereo in the kitchen that has been on it's way out for ages now won't co-operate & play his new Coldplay CD!!! OMG, how funny is that?! People all over thinking it was the end & getting in a right old panic about it, while Duncan is laughing his head off! Funny as... well I thought it was & it is still making me smile now!
A final good note to end on, I am happy as a pig in muck as the Emma Bunton song 'I'll Be There' is on karaoke & I just need to practice it so I can sing it for my Bestie... he has been solid as a rock (& so has Claire) throughout all this & I would do the same for him any time because he is the next most important man in my life next to Duncan & I love him dearly too, for he is everything you could ever ask for in a best friend & more!
Total rollercoaster coming good slowly. Keep the faith, my darling, it'll all be better soon. You both have to understand that what you have is totally special and it will get better, slowly, with a lot of problems on the way xxx
ReplyDeleteAwww, thanks QOTS. I know what we have is special & I also know it will work out & get better day by day, the roller-coaster is on the upward climb now so all in all it's going good xXx
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